Let’s begin by establishing that no one made commercials like Sega did in their early 90’s marketing campaigns. No one.
The camera swerves in to focus on a Game Gear and a Game Boy, side-by-side. “If you were colour blind and had an IQ less than 12, then you wouldn’t care which portable you had… of course, you wouldn’t care if you drank from the toilet either.” Okay, so they’re making fun of the Game Boy’s black-and-white screen. Got it. But hey, wait a second… there were 118 million Game Boy units in circulation by the end of that portable’s life cycle. So in retrospect, Sega’s edgy voice-man is stating that 118 million consumers are colourblind, stupid, and drinking out of toilets like animals. If you’re reading this, chances are high that you own a Game Boy. Well, that’s great, because someone who worked at Sega back when you were busy playing Super Mario Land 2 thinks you’re an idiot.
The commercial then continues its criticism of the “creamed spinach” colours of Nintendo’s handheld, offering customers an alternative in the Game Gear’s “bright beautiful colour” and all the while assaulting our senses with cheesy rock music and someone making noises with their mouth. The best part is at the end when what appears to be a pile of Kraft Dinner explodes into a vibrating mass of letters that reads “WELCOME TO THE NEXT LEVEL” and a dog screams “SEGA” into your face. Then the ad cuts out, leaving viewers speechless and struggling to piece together what just happened to their eyes and ears.
If only this kind of savagery towards other companies was still acceptable in today’s market. Not to mention it would be awesome if Sega released an updated Game Gear and offended consumers all over again with off-the-hook rock n’ roll music and a vicious attack on the competition’s hardware.